The cleverness of this wordplay can hide some important implications, particularly for college students. At its core this adage is about the importance of decision-making that’s guided by a set of values.

Most students say their goal for coming to a university is to earn a degree. But ideally there is also another type of growth that parallels our academic achievements, that of personal exploration and understanding. A large part of that exploration is realizing why we’re doing what we’re doing. Even if we don’t realize it, our earlier lives were also guided by unconscious beliefs, such as “I need to get all A’s,” “I want to make a lot of money” or “I don’t want others to think I’m weird." For many students, these beliefs and the values that underlie them are usually absorbed from our family and early environment, so they can be taken for granted and are not consciously chosen.

Arthur Chickering, a researcher who studied college student…

“I’m not a ‘group’ person” is a common response when I have asked students if they’ve considered joining group therapy. For some, the idea of opening up about their concerns with others ushers in a wave of discomfort. Much like the first-day nerves of starting a class or job, it’s natural to wonder about new settings and how we will operate within them. Understanding more about the types of groups and accompanying benefits may quiet some of the uneasiness.

What type of groups are there?

Support groups create space and dialogue for members with shared identities or experiences to help each other through relating personal experiences, listening to others, sharing coping skills, and fostering a sense of community. Process Groups, such as Creating Healthy Relationships, are typically smaller groups composed of members who want to deepen their self-awareness and learn to relate to others in healthier ways. …

Modern life is full of emotional challenges, and unfortunately, our society all too frequently encourages us to block out and avoid our emotions. Alcohol or other drug use, screen time, and workaholism are all ways of avoiding our feelings. However, because the “tricks” our bodies use to constrict our emotional awareness (e.g., holding our breath, muscle tension) can contribute to anxiety, depression, or physical difficulties, such as headaches or digestive problems, it’s important to consider other ways to address challenging emotions when they arise.

One such technique, which comes from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is called Opposite Action. Emotions are powerful motivators that mobilize us to behave in certain ways. Each emotion comes with a related action urge. For example, when we are fearful, we may feel the urge to avoid or escape the source of that anxiety. Meanwhile, when we are sad, we may become passive, withdraw, or isolate ourselves, and when we are angry, we…

Think about something uncomfortable or unpleasant that happened recently in your life. Something that you really didn’t enjoy that’s memorable. It may have been physically or emotionally uncomfortable, caused by your actions or the actions of another. It could be a frightening or traumatic event. Or it could just have been an inconvenience like a parking ticket.

Got one? Okay, now think about how you dealt with about that event.

Yes, you read that correctly. When unpleasant things occur in your life, how much mental and emotional energy do you expend struggling with their existence? Do you frequently wish those difficult events or feelings would go away? How much anger and criticism do you harbor for yourself or others because of their contributions to your current state? How much time do you spend lamenting that you’re feeling these things at all?

How often instead do you accept things the way they truly are—the good, bad, and the painful? (Hint: this is a…