Resources for Self Help
When you're confused or upset, chances
are there's someone you talk to-your best friend, your brother,
or a favorite teacher, to give a few examples. Sometimes,
though, these people aren't enough, or might even be part
of the problem you're having. Under these circumstances,
people often talk to a counselor. This person may be a psychotherapist
(clinical mental health counselors, social workers, psychologists,
and psychiatrists may all be psychotherapists), a priest
(or rabbi, or other spiritual advisor), or a drop-in center
or hotline volunteer. What's helpful about people in this
role is that they aren't your friends, parents, or
teachers. Because you don't have a day-to-day relationship
with them, they can help you step back and get some perspective
on your problems. Ideally, you'll learn new ways of being
with your friends and family that are more satisfying and
less upsetting for you.
Often, though, if there's some part of
your life that's troubling you, you may feel very alone
and without resources. You may not feel ready to share your
problems with anybody. It may seem too difficult or overwhelming,
or you may feel frightened that if people knew the "real
you," they wouldn't like you. You may be having problems
which feel very shameful or private, so that talking to
other people doesn't seem like an option.
In this situation, self help books can
be an invaluable tool for you. These books (usually located
in the Psychology or Self Help section of the bookstore
or library) can provide you with information, question-and-answer
and workbook-style exercises to help you get to know yourself
better, suggestions for getting a handle on your problems,
and other resources. Most importantly, they let you know
that you're not alone.
A few popular self help books are listed
below. Some are more informational, providing facts and
discussion; others are geared toward exercises for problem-solving
and self-exploration.
If you feel depressed, anxious, or
are having trouble figuring out how you feel, take a look
at:
- Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (David D. Burns,
M.D.)
- I'm Okay, You're Okay (Thomas A. Harris, M.D.)
- The Road Less Travelled (M. Scott Peck, M.D.)
- The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (Edmund J. Bourne,
Ph.D.)
- Healing the Child Within (Charles Whitfield, M.D.).
If you're having trouble with food,
eating, or your body image, try:
- Transforming Body Image (Marcia Germaine Hutchinson,
Ed.D.)
- Making Peace With Food: A Step-by-Step Guide to Freedom
from Diet-Weight Conflict (Susan Kano)
- Fat is a Feminist Issue (Susie Orbach).
For alcohol and drug problems (either
your own or a loved one's), read:
- Adult Children of Alcoholics (Janet Geringer Woititz,
Ed.D.).
For dealing with physical or sexual
abuse:
- The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of
Child Sexual Abuse (Ellen Bass & Laura Davis)
- The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men
- Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (Laura Davis).
For illness, death, or grief:
- Death and Dying (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross)
- Love, Medicine, and Miracles (Bernie Siegal, M.D.)
- When Bad Things Happen to Good People (Harold S. Kushner)
For a good all-around resource on women's
issues (health, psychology, sexuality and others), check
out:
- The New Our Bodies, Ourselves (The Boston Women's
Health Collective).
To learn more about yourself and reduce
physical and emotional stress:
- The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, 3rd
ed. (Martha Davis, Ph.D.; Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman,
M.S.W.; Matthew McKay, Ph.D.)
- Journal to the Self: 22 Paths to Personal Growth (Kathleen
Adams, M.A.).
This list is just the tip of the iceberg.
Besides these specialty areas, there are also plenty of
self help and informational books about anger, intimacy,
mental illness (depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder,
for example), rape, low self-esteem and poor assertiveness
skills. There are also self help books about issues which
are not problems in and of themselves, but which may be
socially or personally difficult: being a woman, being gay,
or belonging to a cultural or ethnic minority group. For
a terrific overview, take a look at The Authoritative
Guide to Self-Help Books (John W. Santrock, Ann M. Minnett,
Barbara D. Campbell).
One final note: All of these books encourage
you not just to read the book, but to find the courage to
talk to others, get counseling, or join a self help group.
(Many local groups are listed in the daily newspaper). You
may have a big task ahead of you, but you don't have to
do it alone.
Written by Shoshana D. Kerewsky, Ph.D.
