Away from Home

Regardless of whether the 'unexpected' or crisis at home is a change in financial support, a natural disaster, an illness or death of a loved one, etc. you might experience some or all of the following emotional responses:

panic (what am I going to do?...I can't handle this...etc.)
shock (I can't believe this is happening; there must be a mistake..)
fear (what if things are worse than I know right now? how can I go on without...? etc....)
denial (maybe it isn't true, etc...)
guilt (I should have been there! Perhaps feeling glad to be safe, yet, at the same time guilty for not being there. etc....)
anger (why does this happen to me?...Your family's wishes and needs may be in conflict with your own.)
depression (feeling all alone, isolated, hopeless, desperate, you may have difficulties concentrating, sleeping, eating, etc....)

Besides these emotional reactions you may also experience physical symptoms such as:

You may worry not only about your situation at home but also about how your academic work is affected; you may need to take some time off from school or even withdraw completely from your classes. You may be concerned about how to pay for a flight home on such short notice, etc.. Since your usual support system and ways of coping with problems may not be available to you, it might be helpful to know who might be able to assist you while being away from home.

For example:
To deal with your emotional responses and physical symptoms, you may want to talk to a counselor at the Counseling Center and/ or see a physician at the Health Center. Both are located in the University Health Counseling and Testing Center across from Oregon Hall. You can come to the Counseling Center anytime between Monday and Friday from 8:00 am to 5:00 PM. Services are free and confidential. You may want to bring a friend along to feel more comfortable. At the Health Center, in order to see a physician you need to make an appointment, except when you feel you must be seen right away, such as in an emergency situation.

Counseling Center Phone number: 346-3227 Contact person: Edel, Robin, or Shelly

Health Center Phone number:346-2763

If you have to miss some classes or need to withdraw totally from school, you might be helped by seeing an academic advisor at Academic Advising at Oregon Hall.
Phone number: 346-3211

To obtain a short term loan and for overall assistance, especially when you feel lost and don't know who you should talk to, you may be best served by the Office of International Programs at Oregon Hall. Phone number 346-3206
Contact persons: Magid Shirzadegan or Abe Schafermeyer.

For help with Overseas Study Programs, call Kathy Poole or Cari Vanderkar in Oregon Hall in the Office of International Programs at 346-3207.

Please take a moment and list the people in this country (USA) who might be able to help you:

                        NAME      PHONE NUMBER
     Family members___________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________
     Friends__________________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________
     Host family________________________________________________
     International advisor________________________________________
     Resident assistant__________________________________________
     Other____________________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________

Being far away from home it might be helpful to think about the issues involved in dealing with a crisis situation ahead of time. Certainly the hope is that nothing difficult will happen especially while you are separated from your family. However, it is also true that crisis situations often provide an opportunity to examine your life and to find out whether you have 'unfinished business ' with someone and/ or whether your priorities are in order, etc...

For instance, you may have left home while being in conflict with a family member or friend; you may have told yourself you will deal with these matters when you go home next. Perhaps you should not wait, but express your thoughts in a letter or phone call.
The purpose is to leave little room for missed opportunities. It is easy to tell yourself 'I will take care of it later." It is very sad when it is too late.

Additionally, it may be helpful to have names, phone numbers and addresses available of family members, friends, and neighbors at home who might be a resource in the case of an emergency. Please take a moment and note these. If you don't have all the information available, fill in later.


                         Name      Phone number

     Family members___________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________    
     Friends__________________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________
     ________________________________________________________
     Neighbors________________________________________________
                         
     ________________________________________________________
     Physician_________________________________________________
     Hospital__________________________________________________  
     Other____________________________________________________

When needing to deal with a crisis, it is helpful to think about how you may have dealt with difficult situations in the past. It also might be beneficial to let friends and other significant people in your present life know how they best can assist you in certain circumstances. It may be important for others to know how your customs and ways of handling problems may differ, especially when your own cultural background is different from those of the people around you. For instance, in this country if a parent is sick, he or she may share his/ her illness in detail with other family members to feel close and to get support, while in your country a parent may not inform you about his/her illness to protect you. Generally in this country people tend to relate information regarding an illness and/ or a death in the family very directly, while in your country, the respectful way might be to wait for an appropriate time which may be several weeks after the fact. Keeping these differences in mind, please think about :

As mentioned earlier, the hope is that you won't have to confront a crisis situation during your stay in the United States, but if you have to, this information may at least be helpful in dealing with the issues at hand. Also, remember that in every crisis lies an opportunity.

Away From Home: Coping with the Unexpected